


Swear On It

by dirkygoodness



Series: Golden Sunshine [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Anakin gets angry when hes vulnerable, Anakin has a praise kink, Anakin is a needy mess and Obi-Wan is here for it, Anakin's self-hate and the bullshit that comes along with it, Blow Jobs, Bottom Anakin Skywalker, Clone Wars, Declarations Of Love, Dom/sub, Dom/sub Undertones, Established Relationship, M/M, Night Terrors, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Praise Kink, Public Blow Jobs, Rimming, Self-Worth Issues, Semi-Public Sex, Theyre out in the middle of nowhere on a mountain but still, Top Obi-Wan Kenobi, anger issues, cause they both have that, i mean come on he calls Obi-Wan master and like No One Else thats kinky, is that a name for having a kink to someone sayin i love u, of sorts they are both emotionally constipated and barely talk about these things so, set during the Clone Wars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-16 18:44:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19323928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dirkygoodness/pseuds/dirkygoodness
Summary: Anakin lets his feet take him a good ways from camp before he actually stops, breathing fast from the memory of his dream.He squeezes his eyes shut tight against it and holds his breath for a moment, trying to get himself under control. Tonight it doesn’t seem to be working, though, because the images of people he knows and loves hurt and bloody and dead just won’t get out of his mind.





	Swear On It

**Author's Note:**

> might fuck around and make a sequel to this we'll see
> 
> but i thought it was about time i wrote porn for these boys

Anakin doesn’t let himself focus on the dream, this time, even though it’s as strikingly vivid as ever. He can’t spare himself the moment to panic, to fear the implications the all too real nightmare has when they’re on a mission. 

So, instead of letting himself process it, Anakin forces his body to move and stands up. He makes his way out of camp easily, stepping over clones with ease - it’s not the first time he’s had to maneuver around them. Anakin lets his feet take him a good ways from camp before he actually stops, breathing fast from the memory of his dream. 

He squeezes his eyes shut tight against it and holds his breath for a moment, trying to get himself under control. Tonight it doesn’t seem to be working, though, because the images of people he knows and loves hurt and bloody and  _ dead  _ just won’t get out of his mind. 

Anakin’s not sure how much more he can take seeing Obi-Wan or Padme die before he loses it. 

Anakin tears his eyes open with a growl and before he can stop himself or think about the consequences - like always, really - he reaches down and grabs a sizeable rock, chucking it as far down the mountain as he can with a barely cut-off shout. 

“Are you planning on giving away our position?” Obi-Wan asks him, suddenly, and Anakin whips around to see him leaning up against a rock. 

He’s dressed in his Jedi robes, sans 'saber belt - it's clear he never changed for bed. He looks pretty comfortable, too.

“How long have you been standing there?” Anakin questions, bitterness and accusation rising into his tone unbidden. He winces. Obi-Wan is unphased, shrugging.

“Long enough. Any particular reason you’re awake?” Obi-Wan’s eyes seem unforgivably all too knowing and it makes Anakin nervous in his own skin. 

Again, he deflects, saying, “I could ask you the same question. It’s not your watch, Master.” 

Obi-Wan hums in response and pushes up from the rock, taking a few slow steps towards Anakin. His eyes wander, like he’s intently inspecting the surroundings - even though Anakin knows him well enough by now that he only does that when he’s got something important to say. 

Or, important by his standards, anyway. 

“Neither is it yours, Padawan.” Obi-Wan says instead of whatever it was he came here for, and Anakin raises an eyebrow at that, crossing his arms.   


“I’m not a Padawan anymore, Master.”   


“Nor am I your Master, and yet you still insist on using titles.” Obi-Wan responds cooly, and finally his eyes drag back to Anakin’s with a knowing look about them. 

It makes Anakin bristle and he huffs a breath and moves to the left, trying to put some distance between them. Not because he doesn’t want Obi-Wan near - but because part of him is afraid Obi-Wan will realize why he’s awake if he comes any closer.

“It’s polite.” Anakin tells him, and even as he says it knows his voice is thin, his heart clearly not in what he’s saying. 

“You choose to be polite to me, but not to the other Jedi?” Obi-Wan asks him, voice devoid of emotion but Anakin knows. 

_ Knows  _ that  _ Obi-Wan  _ knows he’s the only one Anakin actually calls Master on a regular basis, and that Anakin would rather smash his own head with a rock than try and be customarily polite. 

Anakin’s getting backed into a figurative corner and he makes a hard right, saying, “Do you need something or did you just want to banter ‘till the sun comes up?” 

“I’m not stupid.” Obi-Wan says, voice sharpening considerably, and now it’s Anakin’s turn to look around the environment like he’s interested in it.

“Never said you were,” Anakin responds, quickly, but Obi-Wan gives a disbelieving laugh and comes closer.

“Then why do you act like I don’t already know what’s going on? You constantly wake up in the middle of the night screaming, before rushing off.” Obi-Wan tells him, and Anakin’s knees lock up and he comes to a sharp stop, swallowing hard. “What was it this time?” 

There’s no pretending he’s not having these dreams anymore, but he’s not about to give Obi-Wan anymore than he’s already figured out on his own.

“Same as always.” Anakin opts to say, veering to stay on the safe route. Obi-Wan takes another step closer, and now that Anakin’s not matching him one step away for every advance the distance between them starts to close.

“So you always call out to me in your dreams?” Obi-Wan asks, but this time his voice is considerably softer. Like trying to lessen the pain from a blow. 

The knowledge of his words bring heat to Anakin’s face, and he’s thankful for the low light masking it. This time Anakin doesn’t say anything, just stares at the ground hard. Obi-Wan comes up to stand in front of him, and only then does Anakin realize he’s managed to put himself between a rock and the figurative hard place that is Obi-Wan and his stubbornness, cutting off any chance of avoiding the coming conversation. 

Well, shit. 

“What was your dream about?” Obi-Wan asks him again, and Anakin lets out a shaking breath, leaning back against the rock. 

“Same as always,” He repeats, but this time continues. “Death.” 

As soon as he says it Obi-Wan’s face shifts, pulled between surprise and something too close to pity for Anakin’s comfort. 

“They’re just dreams, Obi-Wan.” Anakin says quickly, hoping he can stop Obi-Wan’s normal worry induced lecture before it starts. “If you’re worried about me not being able to function tomorrow on the mission, you don’t have to. I’ve done it on less sleep before, this isn’t going to affect me.”   


“It’s affecting you, Anakin. It might not be hindering your ability to work but it’s still  _ affecting  _ you.” Obi-Wan tells him, and Anakin sighs and runs a hand through his hair in frustration. 

“I’m fine.” Anakin tells him, but Obi-Wan just presses in  _ closer,  _ somehow, and hardens his gaze.

“You’re not. You’ve always been a terrible liar, Anakin.” Obi-Wan’s right. Anakin wasn’t okay; he hasn’t been okay for a very long time. But that didn’t mean he was going to admit to it. 

The thought of showing weakness made his gut clench and instead of letting Obi-Wan keep talking, Anakin hooks his fingers into Obi-Wan’s sash and tugs him forwards so their pelvis’ are touching. 

Obi-Wan makes a cut-off grunting noise as he’s pulled forwards, and puts a hand on the rock near Anakin’s hip to steady himself. The look he gives Anakin is incredulous, and it makes Anakin snort.

“Don’t change the subject.” Obi-Wan warns, and Anakin just shrugs and stretches out on the rock, putting himself on display. 

“I didn’t say anything. Besides, I’m fine. Honestly.” Anakin bucks up into Obi-Wan for emphasis, pressing his now hardening cock against Obi-Wan’s own. 

It earns him a slight shiver he can just barely feel go through Obi-Wan, almost unnoticeable, and it makes him confident with pride. 

“What am I going to do with you?” Obi-Wan sighs, but he’s not pulling away, so Anakin takes it as a win.

“I can think of a few things.” He purrs, and Obi-Wan cocks a brow at him and now it’s his turn to snort in amusement. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever understand how you’re ready to go at the drop of a hat.” 

“It’s a gift,” Anakin shrugs just as Obi-Wan presses forwards so he’s effectively pinning Anakin to the rock. “I don’t see you complaining.” 

“No, you don’t.” Obi-Wan agrees, and finally tips his head for a kiss which Anakin surges into enthusiastically. 

It’s probably not the most morally correct thing, using Obi-Wan to take his mind of his nightmare, but it’s not like that’s the  _ only  _ reason he does it. But if he thinks too hard about  _ that  _ then he ends up going down an entirely different rabbit hole which he pointedly does  _ not  _ want to bother with right now. 

Not when he’s got Obi-Wan’s tongue in his mouth, at least. Anakin let's his hands slide demandingly over Obi-Wan's chest, pressing violently into the kiss. Tries to express some of the frustration, the fear, the  _ loneliness _ he feels through it. He's never been good at talking about this stuff, he's always been better at acting. 

Doing things and hoping Obi-Wan caught on to what he wanted. Most of the time it didn't work. Anakin suspects that it's been partly due to Obi-Wan's intentional obtuseness than actual ignorance. Obi-Wan didn't show the level of emotions that Anakin needed, and even less than that when they were with others. 

Sometimes Anakin felt he was still a little kid with a crush clinging to Obi-Wan's coat tails and following him around while Obi-Wan did his best to ignore the unwanted attention. The thought of it rises an unwanted  _ burn  _ in the pit of his stomach that makes him grimace, and he presses harder against Obi-Wan in attempt to make himself forget it. 

The kiss doesn't last more than a second longer before Obi-Wan is pulling away with a hiss and leveling Anakin with a  _ look. _

“Slow down,” Obi-Wan scolds, his hands pressing against the rock behind them to leverage some distance between the two of them. “There's no need to be so frantic.” 

There is, considering Obi-Wan could realize Anakin isn't worth his time at any moment. Anakin thinks of putting voice to protest, considers fighting Obi-Wan on it. 

But then there's a chance Obi-Wan will up and leave him to his own devices, and the thought makes him physically ache, so instead he lets his breath blow hot over Obi-Wan's mouth.

“Whatever you want, Master,” He purrs, pressing back in for a kiss that Obi-Wan skillfully dodges. 

“I have trouble believing you mean that.” Obi-Wan says, his tone mixed between honesty and amusement. 

“What could I say to make you believe me then, hmm?” Anakin questions, digging his fingers into Obi-Wan's shoulders. 

“Nothing,” Obi-Wan answers, and even though he makes no move to leave it makes Anakin's stomach clench like he's just fallen from a great height. 

Anakin wants Obi-Wan to believe him, would tell Obi-Wan anything he wants to hear if it means he keeps touching Anakin. And as long as he doesn't leave, Anakin just  _ might.  _

But again, he has trouble putting voice to desires and needs, so instead of surging forwards and taking what he wants he lets himself go limp as he drops back against the uneven surface of the rock behind him. He lets his hands slip from Obi-Wan's shoulders, brings them back to himself even though his hands burn with the residual memory of touch. 

If Obi-Wan wants it slow that's fine with Anakin (it's not) because if he somehow manages to drive Obi-Wan away he'll be forced to think about his dream and that's to be avoided at all costs. Not to mention he doesn't know when they'll get their next chance for this - they are fighting a war right now, after all. 

Obi-Wan levels him with an incredulous look, cocking an eyebrow. Anakin raises his own eyebrows in challenge and invitation both, spreading his legs a fraction. Obi-Wan leans down, pressing their foreheads together, and Anakin has to bite his lip near bloody to keep himself from kissing him.

“You're awfully indulgent tonight.” Obi-Wan says thoughtfully, humming. “Any particular reason you aren't trying to rip my clothes off yet?”

“You wanted me to slow down, didn't you?” Anakin asks with a wry smile. Obi-Wan huffs a laugh and grabs Anakin’s hips again.  The weight of his hands on his body makes Anakin's eyelashes flutter and he lets himself lean his weight into them a fraction.

“You don't often do something because I said so,” Obi-Wan informs him, and he's right, Anakin doesn't. 

But he also doesn't normally let himself  _ need  _ Obi-Wan this badly. He doesn't  _ normally  _ hurt at the thought of Obi-Wan no longer touching him, so he'll make an exception tonight. 

Not that he'd ever tell Obi-Wan that, of course. 

“Are you going to stand there and debate  _ why  _ all night with me or are you going to do something about it?” Anakin asks, the bite starting to return to him again, and Obi-Wan chuckles quietly. 

“I thought so.” He says gently, and Anakin raises an eyebrow of his own in confusion. He gets halfway to asking what Obi-Wan means, but is cut off with the feel of Obi-Wan pressing the hard line of his cock up against Anakin's thigh. 

He chokes on his words, his head dropping back as a moan slips from his lips unbidden. Obi-Wan ducks his head down, pres sing soft, feather light kisses against Anakin's neck that make him shiver. His hands slip up Anakin's night shirt and press hot lines against his sides. 

Anakin's own hands move up and grip Obi-Wan's sash again - not moving to take it off yet, though, just holding for purchase. Obi-Wan sucks a dark mark into Anakin's neck just under his ear, and Anakin tilts his head to allow better access. Just as he's starting to forget why he was out here in the first place Obi-Wan's voice rumbles to life and pulls him from his thoughts.

“You know, this isn't going to get you out of our previous conversation. Even though I know that's what you intended.”

Anakin groans in annoyance and rolls his eyes, once again digging his fingers into Obi-Wan. 

“I don't know what you're talking about, Obi-Wan. Now will you please just-”

“Oh you know  _ exactly  _ what I'm talking about, Anakin. Using sex -” He grips Anakin's chest on both sides, thumbs pressing against his nipples and making him hiss for breath. “- As a means of distracting me. It won't work. We're going to talk about this. We  _ need  _ to talk about this.”

“Talking about my nightmares is, uh, killing the mood, Obi-Wan.” Anakin tries, wiggling in the hold Obi-Wan has on him in an attempt to get Obi-Wan to move. 

“Then the mood will die,” Obi-Wan says, seemingly unaffected by the thought of stopping now. 

A weaker part of Anakin reminds him that it's because Obi-Wan doesn't actually want him like this, has only been indulging Anakin - even though they've been doing this almost the entire span of the war. Even though Anakin knows Obi-Wan doesn't do things just to indulge him. 

The thought still rises and it makes him freeze up halfway between terror and frantic lust. Obi-Wan can tell the moment he stiffens, Anakin's sure of it by the way Obi-Wan's grip on his chest tightens a fraction. Anakin tries to play it off, tries to pretend the thought of them stopping and talking about his nightmares doesn't affect him as much as it does. 

“Aw,” He starts, voice cracking a little on the word and he clears his throat and tries again. “But we only just started. Be a shame to waste it.” Anakin presses his hips against Obi-Wan so his cock digs harder against Anakin's thigh. 

Obi-Wan sucks in a breath and finally pulls his head up from Anakin's neck, and the look on his face is something Anakin's not familiar with and that unnerves him.

“If we don't talk about this now you're never going to. You'll ignore it and pretend you don't know what I'm talking about.” Obi-Wan sighs and pulls back,  _ away from him,  _ and Anakin arms clench in instinctive response. 

It doesn't really do him any good, considering his hands are at Obi-Wan's sash and he's almost entirely flat against the rock - not exactly good leverage to keep Obi-Wan in place. 

“Talking about this will help, Anakin.” Obi-Wan says and Anakin flushes with anger at his words. Anger because it's easier to get upset and angry about this than confront it.

“Help who, because it's certainly not going to make  _ me  _ feel better.” He snaps, and Obi-Wan gives him a softened look of disapproval that makes his skin crawl.

“If you keep it bottled up it will hurt you in the long run. Do you remember what I taught you about meditation?”

“You want me to  _ meditate  _ my dreams away?” Anakin scoffs, mouth twisting up in a snarl. Obi-Wan sighs and pulls his hands out from under Anakin's shirt, and  _ fuck,  _ Anakin feels his lungs constrict at the loss. 

“No. You need to let it go like meditation, like how we let our unhelpful emotions go into the Force, you can let these dreams go. Opposed to keeping them locked away. They can't hurt you if they're not shut away, if you  _ face  _ them.” Obi-Wan tells him, and Anakin can't tell if the words actually sound reasonable or if he just thinks they do because he's so touch starved he'd do anything right now to get Obi-Wan's hands on him again.

“What do you want me to say?” Anakin asks softly, staring at Obi-Wan's chest in the dim light rather than his face. 

“The truth.” Is what Obi-Wan says, and  _ Force,  _ that's difficult. 

There's a lot of truths that he wouldn't  _ dare  _ voice, not to mention how hard it is just  _ thinking  _ about his dreams. Let alone  _ talking  _ about them. 

But if he tells him maybe Obi-Wan stays here, against him, and Anakin can't stand the thought of being alone now that Obi-Wan's already here. So he lets out a sharp breath and turns his head away, looking over towards the cliffside with a pained expression.

“They're just dreams.” He starts, pauses. 

Doesn't know where to start -  _ the screams or the blood? Would Obi-Wan think differently of him if he knew? Does it matter if Obi-Wan stays with him? (Of course it does.)  _

“They don't mean anything. I see people die, they don't actually die. They're not real.”

“Tell me,” Obi-Wan softly encourages, and Anakin let's his eyes slip closed against the flutter in his chest. 

“Tonight I saw you… die. You -  _ we  _ were fighting. Something, I don't know. You got hurt. I couldn't get to you, you were too far from me and I couldn't move.” Anakin takes a shaking breath and clenches his fists white knuckled around Obi-Wan's sash. 

“Something was attacking you and I couldn't get to you, I couldn't see what it was. Then it was gone and I was by you, but it was too late. There was - there was  _ so much blood _ . It - it was on my hands. I felt your  _ blood  _ on my  _ hands.  _ You were dead when I got to you. I was too late, you were dead and I was too late to save you and your blood was  _ literally  _ on my hands. It was  _ my fault  _ and I-” 

Anakin cuts himself off by flinching away from Obi-Wan, jerking his hands away and he shoves Obi-Wan away from him a fraction. Not far, he didn't have enough room to get enough strength behind the shove. 

“Are you happy now? Did you get what you wanted?” Anakin asks accusatory, though without the bite he'd normally have. There's a growing sensation of panic and nausea that's resurfaced from when he first woke up. 

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan starts, and he pauses for a moment. Then he's moving forwards and he's got Anakin in his arms now,  _ holding  _ him. “I'm sorry you had to experience that. I'm alive, and I'm fine.” 

Anakin stays rigid against him for a moment longer before going limp and letting out a defeated sigh against Obi-Wan's shoulder. He wraps his arms around Obi-Wan's chest and grips his tunic hard.

“Prove it.” Anakin says forcefully, both a challenge and a plea. 

Thankfully Obi-Wan seems to be in a good mood because instead of refusing Obi-Wan once again drops his head to Anakin's neck and presses a kiss there. With one of his hands he grips Anakin's flagging erection and squeezes, drawing a punched out moan from him.

Obi-Wan let's his weight drop until he's pinning Anakin against the rock, his weight making something hot sturr in Anakin's stomach. Obi-Wan keeps kissing his neck, soft and caring and normally Anakin would protest - doesn't want  _ soft  _ and  _ caring  _ because he doesn't like thinking about how it makes him feel. 

But this time he's too tired to fight it and just let's Obi-Wan do what he wants, letting his own head drop onto Obi-Wan's shoulder. Obi-Wan works his hand on Anakin's cock, all the while dragging his lips up Anakin's neck until he reaches his ear. 

He breathes hot against him and Anakin moans, pulling back enough so he can press his forehead to Obi-Wan's. They meet halfway on a kiss, Anakin sucking in a sharp breath and finally letting his hands move from Obi-Wan's hips. He pulls them up his chest, and keeps going, until he finally snakes his arms up around Obi-Wan's neck. 

He arches against him in the same moment, opening his mouth on invitation. Anakin doesn't, however, press himself forwards. Doesn't deepen the kiss himself - he can't tell if he's actively reining himself in or if he just can't find it in himself to press hastily forwards tonight. 

It doesn't really matter, though, as Obi-Wan deepens the kiss for him. Obi-Wan pulls his hand off Anakin's dick, much to his frustration - but then he's shoving his hand into Anakin's trousers and is gripping him and  _ oh,  _ Anakin pulls back from the kiss to moan and toss his head back a fraction. Obi-Wan chuckles and starts up a gentle rhythm on Anakin's cock.

“So predictable, Anakin.” He hums, and Anakin hisses and bucks his hips against the sensation.

“I’m  _ not  _ predictable, you -  _ fuck!”  _ Anakin snaps his head back as Obi-Wan twists his hand around his dick  _ just  _ so. 

“What was that you were saying, my dear? I didn't catch it.” Obi-Wan questions, smug as ever, a smirk plastered over his face. 

“Will you just-” Anakin cuts himself off with a frustrated growl, shoving his fingers roughly into Obi-Wan's hair. “-Get on with it already?”

“Get on with what, Anakin?” Obi-Wan hums in mock confusion, like he  _ doesn't  _ know what Anakin wants. Like he  _ doesn't  _ have his hand on Anakin's cock. “I can't know what you mean if you don't tell me.” 

Normally Anakin would banter,  _ normally  _ Anakin would play Obi-Wan's game but he's tense, and upset, and he doesn't have the patience tonight. Not after his dream, not after Obi-Wan wrung the conversation out of him. 

So instead of bouncing playfully off Obi-Wan's words Anakin brings his mouth to Obi-Wan's ear and growls.

_ “Fuck. Me.”  _ He hisses, impatience clear in his voice. He hears Obi-Wan let out a stuttering breath, and his hand stills against him. It pulls a whine that Anakin will later deny out of him, and he bucks needily against Obi-Wan. 

“I thought you'd agreed to go slow?” Obi-Wan says halfway between actual question and just a statement. 

“That was before you made me think about how I had to watch you die, Master, so forgive me if I'm a little impatient.” Anakin hisses back, using his own hand to press Obi-Wan's against his cock harder, seeking friction. 

It backfires though, because Obi-Wan pulls his hand out of Anakin's trousers. Anakin groans and drops down against the rock again.

“Obi-Wan, for the love of-”

“Turn around,” Obi-Wan cuts him off, voice stern, and Anakin's eyes snap up to Obi-Wan's face. 

He'll probably hate himself later for the speed in which he spins around, scrambling against the rock, but right now he couldn't give a damn if someone paid him. He hears rustling behind him and then Obi-Wan's hands are at his waistline and dragging his trousers and underclothes down and off, and Anakin hisses as the cold air hits his backside. 

There's a moment of silence, where neither of them move, and Anakin gets halfway to a question when he feels something hot and  _ wet  _ against his hole that has him letting out a startled yelp. 

“What are you-?” Anakin asks, turning his head back in time to see as Obi-Wan's head presses against his ass, and that's when he realizes that it's Obi-Wan's  _ tongue,  _ he's  _ licking -  _ “Oh -  _ oh, Force,”  _ Anakin gasps, mouth dropping open at the sensation. 

Obi-Wan's hands come up and grip his waist, holding him still. Anakin drops his head against his arm with a moan as Obi-Wan actually presses his tongue  _ inside  _ him. Obi-Wan's beard scrapes against him, irritating, but not  _ nearly enough  _ to distract from the pleasure. 

Anakin's not sure why Obi-Wan's doing this, knows Obi-Wan has never done this before to him. Before, it'd always been either a quick fuck right after a battle - both of them high on adrenaline. Or it was at night, like this, with Obi-Wan taking his time and going slow and soft. 

Anakin always hated the second, because it made him think about his feelings. Made him realize that Obi-Wan may be being gentle now, but after the war would he do it? 

Was Obi-Wan being gentle and soft actually because he cared and wanted to or because he was tired of Anakin rushing things. Was it just his nature? 

_ Does he love me?  _

The thought makes Anakin gasp and jerk, jolting away from Obi-Wan's mouth in response.  _ I want him to love me,  _ Anakin's thoughts supply him, unbidden, unhelpful. He buries his head into his shoulder and barely represses a sob at the thought of Obi-Wan not loving him. 

Of Obi-Wan doing this just for physical release, of not  _ really  _ caring about Anakin. Of  _ losing _ Obi-Wan. He tries to shut the thoughts away, push everything down. 

But he can tell he's seeping pain and confliction into their bond and shuts it off before any imprint of  _ love  _ seeps through. In response though Obi-Wan grips his hips tightly, pulling away from him enough to kiss the small of his back.

“Shhhh,” He says, gently, and it breaks a pained whine from Anakin's chest. “I'm right here.” 

_ “Master,”  _ Anakin cries, high and weak, too worn out and  _ hurt  _ to stop it. 

“Right here, Anakin.” Obi-Wan says, and Anakin feels one of Obi-Wan's fingers press into him then.

It makes Anakin's leg twitch as he groans, the metal of his hand making a muffled screech as he drags it across the rock. Obi-Wan moves upwards, kissing up along his spine as he works his finger in Anakin. It takes all of Anakin's will to keep himself from frantically fucking himself down onto Obi-Wan's hand, and he gives a half thrust down before he can stop himself. 

Obi-Wan's other hand pushes his hair out of the way, gripping the back of his neck gently as Obi-Wan kisses his shoulder. That breaks Anakin's resistance, and he lifts his head up, his cheek inches away from Obi-Wan's own. 

“Master,” He breathes out, desperate, trembling with barely contained longing.  _ “Please.”  _ He doesn't even know what he's asking for, but he  _ needs  _ so badly it's hurting him low in his stomach. 

Thankfully Obi-Wan seems to understand, because he drags his hand up into Anakin's hair and uses the leverage to drag him into a blinding kiss. Slow, but strong, intense.  _ Powerful.  _

Anakin lets out a squeaky whine, pressing into the kiss as much as the angle allows. Just as he does Obi-Wan presses another finger into him, pulling a cut off groan from Anakin that Obi-Wan swallows. With it Anakin feels his shields buckling under the pressure of his emotions. 

If he's not careful everything will be open, will flow through their bond unchecked and that sends a shiver of chill terror through him. Because he can't let Obi-Wan  _ see.  _ So he clenches his jaw and pulls back from the kiss a fraction and hopes Obi-Wan doesn't realize why. 

He doesn't seem to, thankfully, because he just presses more kisses into the crook of Anakin's neck. Obi-Wan's hand flexes against his scalp at the same time he pushes in particularly hard, pulling another moan from him. And then Obi-Wan's pulling his fingers out, moving up and off him, and Anakin's mind snaps white hot with panic. 

He jerks, frantic and uncoordinated, just managing to catch Obi-Wan's wrist before he can get out of range. But before he can even say anything he feels Obi-Wan's mind press cautiously,  _ reassuringly,  _ against his shields. 

“I'm not going anywhere, Anakin,” He says, gently. Anakin doesn't move for a moment, trying to tell if Obi-Wan's telling the truth. 

Finally though he releases Obi-Wan's wrist and pulls his hand back. Obi-Wan, in turn, moves behind him and starts to undo his sash. It makes Anakin's face burn with shame and anticipation, and before he can think if it's a good idea or not he's spinning around and falling to his knees before Obi-Wan. His bare knees burn from the rocky, uneven surface, but he ignores it in favor of helping Obi-Wan drag his sash off. 

“Anakin-” Obi-Wan starts, but Anakin cuts him off with a sharp look. 

“Let me,” He says, internally begging,  _ I want to.  _

Obi-Wan is still for a moment before removing his hands from his own trousers, and Anakin takes that as permission and he quickly drags Obi-Wan's trousers and underclothes down in one fluid motion. 

Obi-Wan's cock springs free, making Obi-Wan hiss as he's struck by the cold air. Anakin doesn't let Obi-Wan have a second t o adjust, though, because he surges forwards and takes him into his mouth in one fluid motion. 

_ “Force,  _ Anakin,” Obi-Wan gasps, his hands gripping Anakin’s hair hard enough that it stings. It drags a moan from him as he starts to bob his head, using his flesh hand to grip himself as he does. 

Anakin starts sucking Obi-Wan off in earnest, his stomach knotting tight and somewhere between desperation and loneliness. And when Obi-Wan moans it just fuels Anakin on. Because  _ he  _ did this to Obi-Wan - Obi-Wan's like this  _ because  _ of him and that means Obi-Wan  _ wants  _ him. 

Anakin chokes himself on Obi-Wan's cock and moans, giving himself frantic strokes. He doesn't get to stay like that for long though because Obi-Wan hisses and drags him off of himself, using the grip he has on his hair to do it. Anakin lets out a whine at the loss, his metal hand gripping Obi-Wan's hip to try and bring him back but Obi-Wan keeps him away. It drags another whine from Anakin and Obi-Wan shushes him.

“Up,” Obi-Wan tells him,  _ commands,  _ breathlessly. 

Anakin scrambles to obey, kicking one leg free of boot and clothes as he goes. Obi-Wan crowds him up against the rock again, pressing a burning kiss against his lips as he does. Anakin arches into it, gripping Obi-Wan's biceps a little harder than he should - but he's too caught up in his own mind, his  _ lust,  _ to realize. 

Obi-Wan doesn't say anything, either, and Anakin will feel guilty about it later when he sees the dark bruising he left. Obi-Wan will tell him it's fine, reassure him, maybe joke. It won't make Anakin feel better, but then Obi-Wan will point out the bruises Obi-Wan had kissed into Anakin’s neck and he won't feel as bad. 

For now, though, Obi-Wan just grips the meat of Anakin's thigh and hoists his leg up and around his waist. Anakin tries to ignore the burn in his stomach, but as Obi-Wan takes his time lining himself up it just grows, and eventually Anakin can't stop himself from letting out a weak little noise and scraping his hands down Obi-Wan's shoulders. 

“Hush,” Obi-Wan scoulds, but Anakin feels Obi-Wan's cock press against him  _ finally  _ so he just arches into it instead of fighting him. 

Obi-Wan adjusts his hold on Anakin, slipping his free hand to the small of Anakin’s back as he finally,  _ oh so slowly,  _ pushes in. Anakin moans, long and punched out, his head falling back. Obi-Wan let's out the smallest of noises and if they'd not done this before Anakin might have missed it. By the time Obi-Wan bottoms out Anakin’s starting to shake, his skin itching with  _ need.  _

“Obi-Wan,” Anakin whines, voice shaking and on the verge of tears. “Obi- _ Wan.”  _

Frantically, uncoordinated, Anakin wraps his arms around Obi-Wan's neck and drags him close, letting his head rest just under Obi-Wan's chin. His back aches from the rock, his knees scraped, his cock  _ painfully  _ hard and he can't think past the burning  _ loneliness  _ that's growing in the pit of his stomach. 

“Don't leave me,” He cries, finally, sucking in a wet breath.  _ “Please don't leave me.” _

“Anakin, it's alright,” Obi-Wan says into his hair, pulling him tight against his body in a hug. “I'm not going anywhere.” Anakin pulls back enough to look Obi-Wan in the eyes, gripping his shoulders in a death hold as he shakes Obi-Wan a fraction.

_ “Promise  _ me.” He begs, demands, like a  _ child.  _

He should be acting better, shouldn't be talking like he had  _ attachments  _ (he does though, he really does) because it wasn't the Jedi way. It was  _ wrong  _ and he  _ knew it,  _ as the chosen one he more than anyone else he should follow the rules. 

But here, in Obi-Wan's arms, he can't seem to care about being a model Jedi, the  _ Code.  _ All he cares about is making sure Obi-Wan  _ never  _ leaves him even though, really, Anakin’s not worth a minute of his time. 

Part of him expects Obi-Wan to throw Anakin off of him in disgust, call him  _ weak  _ and leave. Instead, Obi-Wan's face breaks into raw, unfettered  _ heartbreak  _ and it steals Anakin’s breath from him.

“I promise, Anakin, I promise. Never, I'll never leave you.” Obi-Wan swears, and pulls Anakin into a kiss wet from tears. Obi-Wan's hips stutter, dragging a broken moan from Anakin, and with that it's like any restraint Obi-Wan had goes flying down the mountain like the rock. 

He starts fucking into Anakin hard, kissing along Anakin’s jaw, his neck, face. Through their bond Anakin feels Obi-Wan's mind, his thoughts,  _ asking  _ permission to see him through their bond, and for once Anakin actually grants it - dropping his shields. As soon as he does he's hit with an overwhelming sense of  _ love _ that it knocks the breath out of him. 

_ 'Darling, I’d never leave you, could never leave you,’  _ He feels Obi-Wan say, wordlessly, through the bond. 

_ ‘I need you,’  _ Anakin responds, with as much emotion as Obi-Wan is putting in his words. 

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan moans, breathless, against his ear. 

“I love you,” Anakin says before he has time to stop himself, and Obi-Wan's hips stutter with his words. 

Anakin’s eyes snap open, panic suddenly gripping his heart like ice and he digs his fingers into Obi-Wan's back hard. 

_ Ohnohnohnohno- _

“Say that again,” Obi-Wan gasps, jerking like he was about to pull back but the hold Anakin has on him stops him.

“Obi-Wan I'm sor-”

_ “Say it again, Anakin, _ ” Obi-Wan all but begs, and Anakin sucks in a sharp breath, squeezing his eyes shut hard.

“I love you.” He says, quietly, fearful. Anakin is expecting anger. Or detached disappointment. 

He's  _ not  _ expecting Obi-Wan to moan louder than Anakin’s ever heard him before and thrust into him hard, knocking the breath out of Anakin. 

“I love you,” Anakin says again, shocked, his eyes snapping open. “I love you.”

“I love,” Obi-Wan starts, gasps, presses his forehead against Anakin’s shoulder. “Anakin,  _ I love you _ .” Anakin’s mind whites out for a good minute, because,  _ what?  _

_ What did Obi-Wan just say?  _

_ Did he just-? _

“ _ Force,  _ Anakin, I love you,” Obi-Wan says it again, as if reading Anakin's thoughts - he might as well be, with his shields down. 

_ “Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck,”  _ Anakin whines, taking himself in hand with a moan. “Please,  _ please.”  _ He squeezes his eyes shut, doesn't know what he's asking for. 

“I love you.” Obi-Wan says again. “I love you, Anakin. So much, I know I shouldn't but I can't - I love you.”

_ “Master,”  _ Anakin keens, high and breathy, his head falling back as he presses himself as close to Obi-Wan as he can get. 

_ 'It's wrong, I love you, it's wrong, I love you,’  _ Is a mantra of feeling coming from Obi-Wan's mind, and Anakin knows it is. If anyone were to find out they'd both be stripped of their titles and cast from the Jedi Order. 

But it's so hard to care about that, so far from the Jedi, in the middle of a war where either of them could die at any moment. When all Anakin wants to do is hold onto any moment he can get. Obi-Wan drags him from his thoughts by pressing a series of kisses against his neck, pulling a gasp from him.

“Open your eyes, Anakin,” He asks, or is he commanding? Either way Anakin does, dragging his eyes open as he tilts his head down enough to look at Obi-Wan. 

“There you are, so good, so very good, darling,” Obi-Wan says it like he's never been happier, and the smile on his face is the biggest Anakin's ever seen. 

His words stir something hot and  _ burning  _ in his gut and he just barely manages to let out a warning squeak before he's coming hard. Harder than he's ever come before, his vision whiting out as he nearly screams - he feels something (a hand?) cover his mouth. 

By the time he comes to his senses Obi-Wan is out of him and rutting against his thigh, face pressed against Anakin's neck, hand over his mouth. The sight makes Anakin shiver, and he pulls his now-sticky hand off his oversensitive cock towards Obi-Wan's. 

He takes it in hand, and he can feel Obi-Wan jolt against him as he moans. Anakin bites his lip, starting up a quick and steady pace similar to what he'd been doing to himself. 

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan gasps against his neck wetly, and Anakin sucks in a startled breath. 

Obi-Wan  _ loves  _ him. 

Obi-Wan  _ wants  _ him. 

He's making Obi-Wan this way,  _ he's  _ making Obi-Wan moan against his neck. Anakin gives another moan of his own as his dick twitches feebly at the thought. 

Barely a minute later and Obi-Wan is moaning again, coming hot against Anakin's thigh and hand. The sight is almost too much for him, as he lets out a shaking breath. 

They stay that way for a little while, both of them catching their breaths. Finally Obi-Wan pulls back, and the  _ look  _ he gives Anakin instantly has him on edge, his stomach tightening in anticipation. 

“Anakin-”

“I'm not going to ignore this.” Anakin says, quickly, before Obi-Wan can manage to say anything. “I won't. Don't ask that of me.” Obi-Wan's face softens and, with a gentle hand cups Anakin's cheek. It drags a gasp out of Anakin he tries to hold back. 

“I would never be so cruel. But we have to talk about it.”

“Later,” Anakin all but begs. “If I have one more serious conversation tonight I might die.” Obi-Wan laughs at that, dropping his head. He hums, pulling his hand away from Anakin's face to his shoulder as he tsks softly.

“Look at the mess we've made.” Obi-Wan says, and Anakin draws his eyes down to his own hand, covered in both their come. 

It takes him exactly 0.2 seconds before he lifts his hand to his mouth and takes a long, slow lick. Obi-Wan let's out a noise that sounds like he'd been punched, shaking his head.

_ “Force,  _ what am I to do with you.”

“I can think of a few more things,” Anakin laughs, his fist curling against his chest. Obi-Wan rolls his eyes and leans back in, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. 

“Of course you can, Anakin. Of  _ course  _ you can.”


End file.
